So ya...

Just a few things i have to say, because you dont want to listen, and this seems to be the only way what i say is important. You know, i know you dont feel special, and weve fought about it, and i say ill do something about it... We had this fight yesterday, and i did what i could and i tried to be careful of what i left around, I REALY REALY did.

We have this fight alot lately, and its always about the same thing, but why does it not matter that i have done things to make you feel special, and you see that, but its still doesnt matter? I know your hurt, and im TRYING why does that not matter to you? Especialy when you see this (after i have to show you).

Im not sitting here saying these things because i feel like im being attacked, im sitting here saying these things because i feel like things are going to get to the point were it doesnt matter how hard i try, or what i do, that eventualy it will be habitual and unimportant. Im not saying you need to get over this right now, im just asking you to try and look for things that are good, instead of basing your opinion of me on the bad things that happen (In this case).

I know your not very good at this but im asking you to see everything, even the small things, because in your words, thats what matters. I do care, and i DO try, and when i dont try or dont care, i care and try to make things better afterwards.

One thing you havent noticed, or maybe i wasnt informative, is that when you accuse me of not caring, sometimes i know its not true... thats when i mostly just fight back, but when i just get silent, im feeling incredible hurt because i try, and fail every time, or you fail to notice it. That realy hurts me.

Dont get me wrong, i know most of this is flaming you but its realy not, im just trying to make my point of view more open to your eyes. I do know that i havent made you feel special in the past, and that im trying to change things, but change is a slow painful proccess sometimes. Im trying to change, and do things differently, but what hurts me the most is that you cant see that. I feel like eventualy it wont matter how hard i try, and thats a little discouraging.

Now this next part your not allowed to read right away:



One thing ive noticed, but understood, is that alot of the time, we fight when you have family problems. I just cant help but feel like alot of the time your projecting your own actions on me, or that your taking out your emotional stress on me... which is ok to a point, but how can you expect me not to feel hurt over that sometimes. I dont have a problem taking a few hits, but unfortunatly it gets to me eventualy... just know that.